Progrums

The New York Jets have bravely decided that the only plausible antidote to their chronic losing streak is summoning back Tyrod Taylor, the long-retired quarterback whose last start dates back to the dinosaur era—er, two years ago. In a daring second-season-with-the-team move, Gang Green hopes that injecting a blast from the past will spark the franchise’s first taste of victory before fans forget what a W even looks like. Analysts are skeptical, but Jets insiders remain confident that Taylor’s patented brand of cautious duck-and-roll and perfectly safe, predictably accurate passes can work miracles—especially against a Tampa Bay defense that apparently left its playbook in a cab. Local supporters have been advised to keep tissues handy for tears of joy or frustration; at this point, either feels like a win.