Progrums

On Wednesday, Brent Pry convened the sacred ritual of coach-speak, a 17-minute odyssey through buzzword bingo. He blessed reporters with pearls like “embracing the process” and “evolving weekly,” before unveiling his secret game plan: tell players to “stay hungry” and hope the other team forgets how to play. When asked about the Week 3 opponent, Pry winked and revealed he’s “seen some tape—very cool stuff…lots of broken lines.” Rumor has it he considered hosting a finger-painting session to demonstrate proper tackling technique, but tabled it for next week’s media scrum.