In a stunning display of priorities, Virginia Tech announced the kickoff time and TV channel for its Week Five showdown with NC State—because who really cares who’s running the football program when you know exactly when to tune in? Athletic officials confirmed the game will start at a very specific hour on an easily accessible network, giving fans plenty of time to debate quarterback depth charts instead of pondering the fate of Brent Pry’s successor. Meanwhile, coaching candidates nationwide are on hold, refreshing their email inboxes, while Hokie Nation masters the art of setting DVR recordings.
Satirical Title Satire Edition: Hokies and NC State Finally Agree on Game Time, Fans Still Waiting on Coach Replacement Details
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