In a bold move to stem the tide of Hokie-induced anxiety, Virginia Tech has formally released its Week Three depth chart ahead of the Old Dominion showdown—because nothing screams “we’ve got this” like publicly admitting who’s playing next. Sources report that the document was distributed campus-wide via skywriting, flash mobs, and interpretive dance, ensuring every student knows which third-string linebacker might see the field. Athletic staffers have been spotted chanting hopeful affirmations at midfields and conducting seances to summon last year’s defensive spirit.
The announcement comes on the heels of a soul-crushing 0-2 start, capped off by surrendering 34 second-half points to Vanderbilt. Some Hokie faithful say they’ll sleep better knowing the exact order of running backs; others are considering fantasy football therapy. Regardless, the depth chart release doubles as a rallying cry: if the starters can’t hold the line, maybe the backups—meticulously ranked—will step up. Stay tuned for the next thrilling play: actual defense.
Leave a Reply