Progrums

Local legend Brent Pry strutted into Blacksburg with a 20-10 halftime swagger against Vanderbilt, only to discover his defense had taken an impromptu field trip. In the second half, the Commodores racked up 34 points like they were collecting Pokémon cards, leaving Pry’s squad wondering whether they’d accidentally signed up for a volleyball match. Meanwhile, students have started selling “I Survived Coach Pry’s Collapse” T-shirts, and the athletic department is rumored to be installing air-conditioned thrones to help Pry chill on his newly portable hot seat. The only thing hotter than his seat? The instant replay of that meltdown.