Progrums

After word broke that Virginia Tech was planning to show Brent Pry the door, fans apparently decided that a single coaching change is the cure for everything, ever. Twitter erupted with suggestions ranging from hiring a Super Bowl–winning AI to replacing the field turf with an inflatable bounce castle to boost morale. One die-hard alum even proposed a goat-led coaching carousel, because he’s tired of humans messing it up. Others insisted this purge would finally fix tuition hikes, campus Wi-Fi, and even the weather… because obviously, firing Brent Pry unlocks the secrets of the universe. Meanwhile, a self-styled VT Change Council has begun drafting petitions demanding Lane Stadium be renamed Victory Island and outfitted with a dunk tank for every missed field goal.