Progrums

In a bold strategy straight out of a fashion runway nobody asked for, Virginia Tech is trotting out a brand-new uniform combo this Saturday—because apparently losing 0-3 wasn’t embarrassing enough without some fresh threads. Coach Montgomery, fresh into his tenure and off to the kind of start you only see in horror movies, insists these jerseys have “win mojo” woven into the seams. Fans, understandably skeptical, are preparing to cheer politely or at least avoid booing their own side. Meanwhile, athletic department insiders admit they might just finally give the Wofford Terriers a chance to break out the panic whistles—because if there’s one thing college football needs, it’s more dramatic costume changes on the sidelines. Stay tuned as the Hokies hope the new outfits will be the secret ingredient that not even a padding of real wins could replace.