Blacksburg residents awoke to the unmistakable sight of a Tennessee man in full Memphis Tigers regalia wandering into Cassell Coliseum, clipboard in hand and unabashedly declaring, “I’m here to Hokie-up this place!” Eyewitnesses report Coach Ryan Silverfield spent five minutes locking eyes with the Hokie Bird mascot, as if sizing up his fiercest recruiting opponent.
Rumor mills say Silverfield has already started drafting playbooks on cocktail napkins at local coffee shops, swapping “Tiger” for “Hokie” in every sentence. Fans are torn between panic and glee—some fear a Memphis-style offense will arrive with extra barbecue sauce, while others simply hope he can figure out where the turnover chain goes. Meanwhile, nearby barbecue joints are gearing up for unprecedented demand, because if you can’t beat ’em, you might as well feed ’em.
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