Progrums

In a move sure to shake the very foundations of human trivia, Virginia Tech and Wake Forest have disclosed the one detail we’ve all been feverishly awaiting: what time their teams will kick off on Saturday, Oct. 4. That’s right—mark your calendars, set three alarms, and maybe tattoo it on your forehead, because you absolutely cannot miss teenagers in helmets chasing an oddly shaped pigskin across grass. Tune in to the network whose executives somehow still believe people watch live TV, grab your least embarrassing tailgate snack, and prepare to root for a school you probably hardly remember applied to you. It’s autumn, it’s college football, and nothing screams “fall tradition” like collectively screaming at referees you’ve never met.