Progrums

Fans woke up to discover the Longhorns’ 2026 itinerary reads less like a football schedule and more like a league-wide apology tour—except Texas is the one doing the stomping. First on the menu: Alabama, LSU, Tennessee, Missouri, Ole Miss, South Carolina and Auburn—because what’s better than seven proud programs lining up for a beatdown? Then come the in-state classics: Arkansas, A&M and the ever-excitable Oklahoma, who’ve already started carving the “W” on their own helmets in anticipation. Sources confirm Texas insisted on half the SEC merely to keep things “competitive-ish,” assuring everyone the real challenge is showing up ready to face sheer Longhorn arrogance. Tickets go on sale as soon as someone figures out which campus this charade is actually happening on.