Progrums

In a move that has sports analysts fumbling for their notepads, Virginia Tech’s defensive juggernaut Kody Huisman decided Tuesday was the perfect day to break his usual radio silence. Addressing a crowd of eager reporters, he delivered earth-shattering insights—like confirming he woke up before noon, ate something green for lunch, and even remembered to snap a selfie for the ‘Gram (or so he claims).
Eyewitnesses report Huisman spent a full 17 seconds discussing line stunts before politely reminding everyone he’s actually on the defense line, not a weather forecaster. Rumor has it he also teased a blockbuster performance in next week’s game, hinting at more surprise pressers if things go well. Sources say the media left largely satisfied, though some are still trying to parse his cryptic remark about “tackling life one day at a time.”