After giving Brent Pry the heave-ho, the Hokies stumbled onto a radical new strategy: actually score more points than the other team. That nugget of wisdom led to a gleeful 38-6 demolition of Wofford, a squad so bewildered it considered filing a missing-person report on its own offense.
Fans, long conditioned to rhythmic sighs and textbook collapse, erupted in cheers that shattered several records for local bewilderment. The offense, previously marooned in the Bermuda Triangle of playbooks, actually marched downfield with alarming regularity. Meanwhile, the defense—usually resembling Swiss cheese—sniffed out Wofford’s hapless drives like bloodhounds on a Bigfoot trail.
Between touchdown dances and impromptu interpretive victory laps, social media lit up with stunned confessions of Hokie fandom reborn. Experts now speculate that firing Pry triggered a cosmic reset button: the team rediscovered the lost art of tackling, catching, and scoring. If Virginia Tech ever unearths the concept of consistency next week, sports historians might need to rewrite the laws of physics.
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