Progrums

In a bold display of gridiron generosity, Virginia Tech has graciously invited Wofford to its Lane Stadium pinata party, where every offensive line is a potential target. Fans can expect real-time thrills as Hokie defenders pluck tackles like low-hanging fruit, while the Wofford offense searches desperately for the ball—rumor has it they misplaced it in the visitor’s locker room. Expect live updates for each inevitable touchdown, legally distinct from “mercy scoring,” and postgame therapy sessions offered free of charge to anyone still feeling bad for the Terriers.