Progrums

In a shocking display of textile trickery, Georgia’s equipment crew has decided that regular old red jerseys just don’t inspire fear anymore. After releasing a mysterious teaser video that looks suspiciously like footage from a low-budget horror flick, the Bulldogs’ gear gurus are now rumored to be plotting an all-black “stealth mode” unis debut against Alabama. Sources say the plan is to sneak onto the field at night, armed with only cleats and sheer intimidation, causing Crimson Tide players to question if they’ve accidentally wandered onto the set of a spy movie instead of Sanford Stadium. Rumor has it the staff is even considering fog machines for extra dramatic effect—and if that fails, they’ve been training a squad of pyrotechnic squirrels to provide halftime fireworks.