Progrums

Penn State fans, dust off your rain boots and prepare for a seismic quackquake: the sixth-ranked Oregon Ducks are storming Beaver Stadium for the first time since hair was long, bell bottoms were in style, and disco still ruled—1964, to be exact. Armed with neon uniforms brighter than your smartphone screen and an offense that moves faster than a caffeinated goose, Oregon plans to schmooze the Nittany Lions into submission. Meanwhile, Lions’ players are frantically Googling “how to catch a flying duck” and wondering if their helmets double as body armor. From bewildering playbooks to pregame yoga led by a motivational emu, Penn State might find itself questioning all it thought about pigskin, poultry, and the fine line between sport and quackery.