Progrums

Steve Sarkisian treated the traditional bye-week snooze like a city bus—completely optional. Instead of lounging on a couch, he suited up in aviator shades, hopped into his personal chopper, and buzzed the Texas countryside to eyeball 5-star recruit Jermaine Bishop. Witnesses say he hovered so low you could hear his motivational playlist rattling through the cabin. Critics call it overkill; Sarkisian calls it “Tuesday.” Rumor has it next week he’ll parachute in. Or maybe teleport—he hasn’t ruled anything out.