In a stunning display of consistency, Florida State’s faithful took to social media this weekend to express bewilderment that their beloved football team, the Seminoles, could possibly lose a game—especially one that occurred in broad daylight and on a football field. Eyewitnesses report spontaneous eruptions of frustration, toe-stomping expletives, and the sudden emergence of armchair quarterbacks formerly known as “former players.”
“I thought college football was just a series of tailgates with optional wins,” confessed one crestfallen alumnus as he scrolled through highlight reels of spectacular Virginia plays. Another added, “Losing on the road? That’s like, the most shocking twist since dial-up internet.” Meanwhile, a cadre of ex-Seminoles veterans held an emergency Zoom meeting—complete with virtual donuts—to diagnose what went wrong.
Sources say the team’s offensive coordinator responded by suggesting they might, on rare occasions, consider practicing until it felt like second nature. In response, fans promised to keep their outrage alive until next Friday night, when they’ll be primed to experience that electrifying feeling called “victory,” assuming it still exists.
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