Progrums

Tonight, the Hokies will once again cram into their helmets and pretend no one noticed they’ve played four games already. With the solemnity of a caffeine-deprived office worker hitting “refresh” on their inbox, the team will stride onto the field hoping this time, really this time, feels like a brand-new campaign—a mid-season mini-saga free from the crushing weight of previous losses. Fans, still clutching stadium hotdogs like lifelines, will cling to the idea that a single satisfactory drive can erase all prior embarrassments. Coaches will deliver pep talks about “building momentum,” conveniently ignoring that momentum is usually built over, you know, more consistent winning. Meanwhile, the scoreboard stands ready to brutally remind everyone that “reset” in sports is about as real as those bullet journaling dreams you abandoned in February.