In a charitable act rarely seen outside of charity golf outings, Notre Dame is handing Boise State a generous 21-point head start this weekend—just in case the Broncos need a little divine intervention to stay within hail-Mary distance. After unleashing a biblical smiting on Arkansas last Saturday (the box score read “crucifixion,” Notre Dame: 45, Arkansas: 16), the Irish have decided that mercy is best served with a side of staggering odds.
Oddsmakers, bless their calculators, have already penciled in the Fighting Irish as a three-score favorite—a spread so wide you could drive the team bus through it. Fans in South Bend are reportedly petitioning to start the game at halftime to expedite the holy rollercoaster of points, while Boise State backers are dusting off their prayer beads and inflatable blue turf to summon a miracle.
Local bookies are optimistic: “At least this way, the game might be exciting for two full quarters,” one wager taker quipped, eyes twinkling under a Notre Dame jersey. Elsewhere, Boise State coaches are allegedly scouring Scripture for unauthorized miracles—because when God closes one door, hope arrives via a 21-point gift basket.
Stay tuned for kickoff, when the only uncertainty will be whether Notre Dame’s running backs feel polite enough to slow down. Either way, both teams will sleep well knowing that, if nothing else, Vegas’s wallets will be vindicated by a thoroughly one-sided spectacle.
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