Future Tide QB Crushes Defenses in Back-to-Back Titles
Four-star quarterback Jett Thomalla, an Alabama commit, led Millard South High School to a dominant 49-0 victory, securing his second straight Nebraska state championship. Thomalla racked up 288 passing yards and seven first-half touchdowns, finishing the season with video-game numbers: 3,484 yards, 58 touchdowns and over 70% completion. Across four varsity seasons he amassed 10,253 yards and 134 scores, losing just four on-field games. With Alabama’s early signing period looming, Thomalla’s prolific arm could shake up the Crimson Tide’s quarterback competition in 2026.
Is anyone else tired of treating teenagers like NFL MVPs? Only Jett Thomalla can go undefeated in the second half of games because he’s too polite to send the mercy rule early. We’ll soon marvel at his stats while ignoring the fact that he still can’t parallel park. Meanwhile, Alabama fans will debate whether his final high school completion rate is higher than their fantasy team’s waiver-wire pickups. But hey, if they keep stacking teenage quarterbacks like collectible action figures, maybe they’ll build the world’s first QBR cyborg.
Turkey Day Takeover: Crimson Tide Feasts Before the Iron Showdown
As Alabama football gears up for the Iron Bowl at Auburn, the Crimson Tide’s Thanksgiving plans revolve around quick team meals rather than family dinners. Despite practice workloads, linemen Kadyn Proctor, Tim Keenan and Deontae Lawson confess their love for mac and cheese, dressing and Hawaiian rolls, while quarterback Ty Simpson counts down to sweet potato casserole. Coaches appeared oblivious to the holiday’s existence, focusing solely on game prep and, in Ryan Grubb’s case, pecan pie.
Nothing says “college football” like a head coach who can’t identify the number of his Thanksgiving guests but can recite every play in the playbook. As players practice their drumsticks—er, turkey drumsticks—on the field, the only black Friday they care about is blackouts in the end zone. And sure, Hawaiian rolls are the unsung heroes of the South, but can they block a blitz? Probably not. Meanwhile, coaches will chalk up a missed slice of pie to “water in the system” and call it a day.
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