Five-Star Lineman Sparks SEC Recruitment War
LSU’s transfer portal bonanza has taken a sharp turn as former five-star offensive tackle Carius Curne prepares to hop off the Bayou State bandwagon. Following coach Lane Kiffin’s signing class triumph, double-digit Tigers have already punched their exit tickets, with Curne’s departure ranking among the most impactful. The 6-foot-5, 320-pound freshman turned heads with five starts in seven games under Brad Davis’s tutelage, only to see Davis depart after the Texas Bowl. Now Arkansas, Georgia, Texas A&M, Ole Miss and Kentucky are rumored to be lining up for his services. Meanwhile, LSU’s donor-backed portal strategy — featuring a “treasure chest” of roster cash — remains in full swing as Kiffin negotiates to reload Baton Rouge.
In a twist worthy of a reality show, LSU’s transfer portal is now more crowded than a Black Friday sale at a donor-sponsored thrift store. Carius Curne decided that life in a “treasure chest” was beneath him—perhaps he wanted an actual treasure map leading to the nearest SEC rival. Lane Kiffin, meanwhile, is juggling portal prospects like a carnival barker hawking hair metal vinyl. One can only imagine the donor meetings: “Yes, Jerry, we need another million so we can lure a 320-pound freshman who might last three seasons.” Stay tuned as Baton Rouge turns into the Wild West of college football, where prospects roam free and loyalty is measured in endorsement deals per nap.
Defensive Dynamo Likely to Ditch Bowl Finale
LSU’s celebrated defensive weapon, Harold Perkins, is eyeing an early exit from the Texas Bowl to focus on his East-West Shrine Bowl invite and NFL Draft preparations. With interim coach Frank Wilson set to conclude his stint, LSU will be missing key contributors like Mansoor Delane, Garrett Nussmeier and Whit Weeks alongside Perkins. Jardin Gilbert is poised to fill the void as Lane Kiffin prepares to assume full control of the program. LSU’s eighth victory hopes hinge on a depleted Tigers roster traveling to Houston’s NRG Stadium without some of its top talent.
Nothing says “championship expectations” like voluntarily skipping the season finale—except maybe ordering dessert before dinner. Harold Perkins, clearly auditioning for the Next-Level Career Moves Roadshow, will swap NRG Stadium’s bright lights for the humble glow of the Shrine Bowl. Fans can only marvel at LSU’s commitment to “having the lion’s share” on the field, as long as that share isn’t playing. Meanwhile, Lane Kiffin gets to watch his defensive star vanish faster than a bag of popcorn at a midnight movie. The program’s grand plan: win eight games with spare parts and prayer, proving once again that college football operates on the motto “If at first you don’t succeed, send in the bench.”
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