Dan Lanning Crowned a Top Sports Leader
Oregon head coach Dan Lanning has been voted No. 30 in The Athletic’s poll of the 40 “most admired” sports figures by 100 industry insiders. He lands between NFL star Josh Allen and MLB manager Stephen Vogt—and stands out as one of just three college football coaches on the list. Lanning’s call to end the season by Jan. 1 has gone viral, as he argues that eliminating byes and starting Week 0 would streamline scheduling, aid playoff teams and untangle the transfer portal mess. His résumé includes a 48–8 record in four seasons, consecutive CFP appearances, a Big Ten title and multiple bowl victories, plus the prestigious Stallings Award for leadership and character.
In true Onion fashion, it seems the sports world has discovered there might just be a coach who wants to change the calendar instead of change jerseys mid-season. Dan Lanning’s saintly leadership gleams so brightly that execs and players across pro and college ranks paused their fantasy drafts to admire a man who actually believes football should finish before the new year. Meanwhile, coordinators everywhere clutch their hall passes, wondering if they’ll still get to binge Reality TV before spring practice. If only more coaches would campaign for sensible scheduling rather than hoarding burritos in their offices during bowl season.
Evan Stewart’s Comeback Fuels NFL Draft Dreams
After missing the 2025 season with a torn patellar tendon, Oregon wideout Evan Stewart has declared he’ll return for 2026. His decision follows similar extensions by Dante Moore and key defensive linemen. Stewart was pegged as a potential mid-first-round pick before the injury, and NFL analysts still see first-round upside if he can replicate his 2024 production—48 catches, 613 yards and five touchdowns, including a memorable one-handed Rose Bowl grab. He follows in the footsteps of Marcus Mariota and Justin Herbert, betting another collegiate campaign will solidify his draft position.
Nothing says “I missed the entire season with a career-threatening injury” like opting for another college year in the Oregon rain. In a move straight out of a feel-good sports drama, Stewart has chosen to suit up again rather than chase Hop-in-the-Duck-Boat fame in the pros. NFL execs are no doubt sharpening their draft boards by video of his one-handed miracle catch—because tape doesn’t lie, unless it’s a knee MRI. Stay tuned: the Ducks’ offense might soon resemble a Hollywood blockbuster, complete with injured hero rising from the ashes to snag first-round glory… or at least snag a 50/50 jump ball.
Top Tackle Seaton Nixes LSU Dinner for Oregon Visit
Jordan Seaton, the No. 1 offensive tackle in the transfer portal, has reshuffled his official visits. After stops at Miami and Mississippi State, his planned LSU dinner was canceled, signaling an imminent trip to Oregon. LSU pushed for extended face time before Tuesday’s spring-semester deadline, but now Seaton appears likely to land in Eugene. Standing 6-5 and 330 pounds with a 91.4 pass-blocking grade in 2025, he’d anchor the Ducks’ rebuilt line and complete Dan Lanning’s recruiting coup.
Canceling dinner with LSU to feast on Duck wings instead? Seaton’s itinerary reads like a sports rom-com twist, complete with the obligatory last-minute flight change. Clearly, Lane Kiffin’s palate couldn’t compete with Dan Lanning’s all-you-can-eat draft stock buffet. Meanwhile, Oregon fans are sharpening their selfie sticks for the big “commitment handshake” moment. In the high-stakes world of transfer portal courtship, nothing says true love like abruptly ghosting one school for another—especially when you’re a 330-pound lineman on a mission for national titles and better catering.
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