Selection Countdown: Can DeVries’ Hoosiers Dance?
With Selection Sunday just a month away, Indiana stands at 17-9 (8-7 Big Ten), teetering on the NCAA bubble under first-year coach Darian DeVries. A recent 71-51 loss at No. 8 Illinois did little to derail their bid: they sit at No. 9 seed in CBS’s Bracketology and boast solid metrics (NET 34, KenPom 36, BPI 27). Five conference games and the upcoming Big Ten Tournament will determine whether they peak or plummet. Projections range from a No. 7 seed in an ideal scenario—finishing 23-12 with a quarterfinals run—to missing the dance entirely with a collapse to 18-14. The most likely path sees a 21-12 record, an 11-9 conference mark and a No. 9 seed, possibly matching up with Miami (FL) in the round of 64.
Finally, something more unpredictable than Indiana’s ticket-to-the-tournament chances: your uncle’s summer fantasy football draft. Sure, DeVries inherited a team capable of flirting with .500, but the idea that bracketologists can pinpoint a No. 9 seed with arcane formulas and ancient ritual sacrifice is truly peak midwinter madness. Nobody cares that “NET 34” sounds like a Bluetooth speaker. We’ve seen worse basketball from teams wearing paper bags over their heads and still sneak into the dance. Let’s be honest: the real key to Hoosier success is an outstanding bracket-picking algorithm supplemented by a prayer circle led by sweet-tea-drinking grandmothers in Bloomington. If that fails, at least we get hilarious tweets when IU goes 0-2 in the Big Ten Tourney and regrets ever hearing “Bracket Busters” was a thing.
Size Matters: Hoosiers Crushed by Bruins
Indiana’s women’s basketball squad hit the road to face No. 2 UCLA and ran head-first into a 92-48 blowout. The Hoosiers fell to 14-13 overall and just 3-12 in Big Ten play, outmuscled on the boards 51-24 by a Bruins team that has now won 15 straight conference games. Coach Teri Moren credited UCLA’s imposing front line—anchored by 6-7 freshman Lauren Betts—whose length and scoring versatility quickly turned this into a rout. Maya Makalusky topped Indiana with 13 points; Lenée Beaumont and Nevaeh Caffey added 11 and 10 respectively, but the rest of the roster could not keep up.
Ah, yes—the classic “we’re short, but scrappy” sob story, delivered with the same conviction as a Hallmark Christmas movie understudy. If you squint, you can almost see the Hoosiers shrinking before your eyes, whispering “big girls, sorry” while UCLA lords over them like basketball giants in Versace. One can only imagine the locker room pep talk: “Remember, ladies, you don’t need rebounds or backboards—just good vibes!” Meanwhile, the Bruins are busy building fortresses out of shattered dreams and slam dunks. But chin up, Indiana fans: at least you’ll have plenty of time to watch senior day ceremonies, where confetti cannons replace missed layups and highlight real’s your new favorite app.
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