Trojans Trade Titans for Spartans… Sort Of
After a century of epic showdowns, USC has officially hit the eject button on its marquee matchup with Notre Dame. Instead of keeping the rivalry alive in 2026, Lincoln Riley’s Trojans opted for a Week 0 opener against San Jose State—a Group of Six team that limped to a 3-9 record last season. Meanwhile, Notre Dame found a new dance partner in BYU, fresh off a 23-4 two-year run. Once hailed for brutal out-of-conference slogs (remember the 2004 juggernaut that tackled Virginia Tech, BYU, and ND?), USC’s nonleague slate now reads: SJSU, Fresno State, and Louisiana. With Riley and AD Jen Cohen at the helm—neither carrying Trojan lineage—the sacred rivalry looks sidelined until they’re both shown the exit door. And if USC still misses the College Football Playoff after this timid scheduling spree, well, better book extra oil for those hot seats in Southern Cal.
Welcome to the brave new world of USC football, where “big games” now mean squaring off against teams that make BYU look like the ’72 Dolphins. Lincoln Riley must’ve misread the memo—this isn’t “The Lion King,” it’s supposed to be “Gridiron Gladiators.” But hey, why sweat tradition when you can collect easy wins and hope the playoff gods don’t notice? Jen Cohen, fresh off her “USC 2.0” rebrand, probably thought a 3-9 team would be the perfect confidence booster. Next thing you know, the Coliseum will be hosting Junior Varsity Friday Night Lights. As for Notre Dame, at least they’ll still brag about BYU’s stellar record rather than lament their ex-rival’s midlife crisis. Pass the popcorn—this Trojan tale of woe is just getting deliciously embarrassing.
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