Seven Longhorns Eye NFL Dreams in Mock Draft
The latest On3 mock draft pegs seven Texas players to hear their names called in a hypothetical seven-round NFL selection. Linebacker Anthony Hill Jr. is forecast to land with the New York Jets at pick 44, pairing with veteran Demario Davis. Cornerback Malik Muhammad heads to Chicago at No. 60, filling a Bears secondary need. Tight end Jack Endries, known for reliable hands, is slotted to New England at 125. Edge rusher–turned–off-ball linebacker Trey Moore is a 135th-overall pick to Pittsburgh, while safety Michael Taaffe is projected 153rd via Philadelphia. The Patriots circle back for corner Jaylon Guilbeau at 202, and guard DJ Campbell is a sleeper late pick for the Eagles at 203. These projections keep Texas’s recent record of high draft volume alive, showcasing Longhorn talent ready to make NFL impacts.
In a stunning twist of fate, Texas churns out more draft picks than your average sandwich shop produces customers. It’s as if the Longhorns are running a part-time NFL prep school—tuition: four years of intense P.E. and existential dread. Expect fans to start mailing playbooks and tie-dyed jerseys to the NFL offices, begging their favorite teams to draft another armada of burnt orange warriors. At this rate, the NFL might soon retire the draft entirely and simply auction off Texas’s depth chart. One can only wonder: will next year’s mock predict Vince Young rising in a DeLorean?
Longhorns Load Up Arch Manning’s Support Squad
Texas bolstered its transfer portal haul by adding former SMU offensive lineman Paris Patterson Jr., the team’s 20th portal commitment this offseason. Patterson, a 6’5”, 323-pound product of East St. Louis, saw action in 11 games for SMU last season and brings depth to a Longhorn offensive line already revamped with several high-profile portal additions. Head coach Steve Sarkisian hinted that the staff was done recruiting through the portal—until “something crazy” happened, prompting Patterson’s late arrival. He joins a veteran-heavy class aimed at fortifying quarterback Arch Manning’s protection and pushing Texas toward championship aspirations.
In a move guaranteed to confuse historians, Texas pulverized the transfer portal as though it were a piñata brimming with NFL talent. Patterson Jr. swings in like the grand finale at a fireworks show—unexpected, loud, and likely to leave everyone temporarily deaf. Sarkisian’s “something crazy” evidently included unlimited portal power-ups and a subscription to “Every OL on Earth” magazine. One can only assume the next announcement will be that Texas has drafted Indiana’s 2029 state champion butter-churning team—just because they can.
Sark’s Shout-Out: NIL Spending Is a Free-for-All
Steve Sarkisian warned that the Name, Image, and Likeness arms race in college football is no longer limited to a handful of wealthy programs. Despite NCAA revenue-sharing caps, many rosters reportedly exceed $30 million in NIL value. The Longhorns have been major spenders, though Sarkisian suggests as many as 25 teams are writing hefty checks to build competitive rosters. He likened the landscape to a multi-team big-money league rather than a two-team monopoly, urging transparency and strategic decision-making amid the high-stakes environment. Texas aims to balance culture, scheme fit, and toughness while navigating the new financial battleground.
Turns out college football has become “NIL Land”—a wild bazaar where everyone’s brandishing oversized novelty checks and mutual distrust. Sarkisian’s revelation that 25 schools are dishing out massive deals is about as shocking as discovering water is wet. He’s basically saying, “Surprise: your neighbor’s rich, too!” Meanwhile, fans cling to the hope that a mid-tier program can still win without becoming Wall Street. Spoiler alert: the real champion this season might be the kid who mastered the subtle art of negotiating booty-grams and sponsored TikTok dances.
Midweek Showdown: Longhorns vs. Bobcats
The No. 2 Texas Longhorns (23–4) prepare to host a scrappy Texas State Bobcats squad (19–8) during a four-game home stretch. After sweeping No. 11 Oklahoma, Texas looks to avoid the midweek letdown that cost them games against Tarleton State and Houston. The Bobcats, coming off a 15–4 loss to Texas earlier this season, have proven themselves a dangerous mid-major, highlighted by wins over UTSA and a ranked Louisiana team. Texas must rediscover its midweek offensive firepower to dodge a third straight hiccup while Texas State aims to limit big innings and pull off an upset in Austin.
Nothing says “high drama” like midweek college baseball under the fluorescent lights, where hearty meatloaf dinners and bleary eyes combine for the perfect upset conditions. Texas State arrives ready to play spoiler, possibly fueled by leftover barbecue and sheer spite. The Longhorns, fresh off walk-off heroics against Oklahoma, now must muster the energy to score in Games 4, 5, and so on. If they manage that, they’ll prove midweek baseball isn’t just a cruel practical joke designed to remind fans that Mondays exist.
March Madness Hero Mark Leaves with Regional Accolade
Guard Tramon Mark capped his two-year Texas career by earning All-West Region honors after a 29-point outburst in the Sweet 16 loss to Purdue. His game-winning shot in the First Four unlocked Texas’s tournament journey, and he battled through a painful ankle injury to keep the Longhorns competitive against the Boilermakers. Mark finishes with a 12.5 points, 3.6 rebounds, and 1.8 assists average on efficient shooting splits, leaving fans wishing he’d stayed longer but honoring the mark he made on a memorable March campaign.
Behold the basketball career condensed into cinematic highlights: buzzer-beating heroics, ankle agony, and enough shooting splits to make spreadsheet nerds blush. Mark exits like a guest star off a sitcom—beloved, under-utilized, and leaving behind a cliffhanger that no one asked for. Now that he’s off to greener pastures (or a professional contract, we assume), Texas fans will cycle through grief stages faster than you can say “NCAA infractions.” But hey, at least he left on a high note—literally, from beyond the arc.
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