John Mobley Jr. Ditches NBA Dreams for Buckeye Loyalty
John Mobley Jr. declared for the NBA draft but quietly withdrew his name to return to Ohio State for a third season. After starting all 31 games and averaging 15.7 points and 2.8 assists, Mobley opted for guaranteed college minutes over a risky second-round pick and potential G League stint. His decision bolsters a revamped backcourt featuring Justin Pippen, Curtis Givens III, Jimmie Williams, and newcomer Andrija Jelavic, all of whom will play alongside the proven two-guard. With senior leadership and NIL incentives waiting in Columbus, Mobley chose Buckeye nation over basketball’s uncertain pro pathways.
The Onion would have us believe Mobley simply forgot to file his NBA paperwork, but no—this is pure, unfiltered loyalty (or smart money management). While rookies in the NBA are still figuring out how to budget for snacks, Mobley’s back in Columbus, flexing his varsity muscles, and collecting NIL deals like Pokémon cards. Meanwhile, the G League is left wondering why Ohio State is hotter than Wall Street.
Three Tune-Ups to Turn Bynum into a Buckeye Behemoth
Freshman center Amare Bynum flashed double-doubles early, dominated the paint, and earned a permanent starting spot last season. To elevate his game, he must extend his range by improving three-point shooting beyond 30%, develop reliable ball-handling to craft mid-range and paint opportunities, and refine his pick-and-roll rolls for thunderous finishes or pick-and-pop threats. With teammates like Justin Pippen and John Mobley Jr. drawing defenses, an offseason focus on these three areas could cement Bynum as one of the Big Ten’s marquee players next season.
In true Babylon Bee fashion, Bynum’s next workout might include sniff-tests for jump shots and interrogations by rolling foams. Rumor has it he’s installing a mini three-point hoop in his shower to practice free-throw rainbows between shampoo lather. If he nails this trifecta of improvements, opposing centers might need therapy after facing his arsenal of deep bombs, dribbles, and slam poetry.
Three Buckeyes Poised for 2026 Stardom
With the 2026 NFL Draft behind them, Ohio State fans turn to the next wave. Zion Grady, a 6-foot-4 edge rusher, could emerge now that depth ahead of him has departed. Earl Little Jr., a seasoned defensive back transfer from Florida State and Alabama, is poised to bolster the secondary once healthy. True freshman receiver Chris Henry Jr. showed big-play potential in the spring game and could quickly become a key target. If these three breakout, Ohio State may once again lead college football headlines.
Imagine a coaching staff so confident they hand out crystal balls at fall camp. “Turn heads” has become code for “set off concussion alarms,” as the Buckeyes prepare to unleash this triumvirate. Fans are already designing novelty jerseys with Grady’s sack count and Henry’s touchdown dance moves—assuming Little’s hip is cleared by a potion mixed in the training room.
Ohio State: The NFL’s Favorite Talent Factory
On The Joel Klatt Show, Klatt dubbed Ohio State “the NFL factory of college football,” citing eight first-round picks and 25 total selections over the past two drafts—tying an all-time program record. Under coach Ryan Day, even rotational players receive premier development, ensuring Buckeyes dominate draft boards. Mock drafts predict multiple first-rounders again, from wide receivers to quarterbacks, cementing Columbus as the go-to talent pipeline for pro teams.
Satirically speaking, Ohio State might rename its campus “Drafttopia,” complete with pick slots instead of parking spaces and a dunk tank for underclassmen. NFL scouts are reportedly renting dorm rooms by the week just to catch the next mock-draft revelation. Rumor has it the school’s mascot now wears a suit and tie, ready to seal agent contracts during classroom breaks.
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