Edge Rusher Houdini: Joe’s Minicamp Vanishing Act
Former UW standout Joe Tryon-Shoyinka, once a first-round NFL draft pick, didn’t show up for mandatory Eagles minicamp. Facing up to a $53,959 fine, the 27-year-old edge rusher—who’s already bounced between Tampa Bay, Cleveland, Chicago and now Philadelphia—remains silent on his absence. After 15 career sacks in four seasons and a high-profile college career, his pro journey teeters on the brink as he tries to stick with his fourth franchise in nine months.
In true magician fashion, Joe has pulled off the ultimate disappearing trick—poof!—right before mandatory workouts. Word is he’s been rehearsing his “Now you see me, now you don’t” routine in front of his mirror, aiming to vault trench warfare into performance art. Sources say the Eagles coaches are frantically checking under bleachers and inside mascots’ costumes, convinced he’s hiding somewhere on campus. Meanwhile, NFL fans everywhere are updating fantasy rosters to replace him with literally anyone else.
Husky Hunt: Chasing the Third Ioane
UW whiffed on offensive guard Olaivavega Ioane five years ago when he flipped to Penn State; this spring they landed defensive tackle Jon Ioane over multiple suitors; now they’re courting Utah edge rusher Jag Ioane. All three share a Samoan surname, though no relation has been confirmed. Jon, a 4-star recruit, committed in March; Jag, a 3-star edge, visited campus June 5 and remains undecided with Michigan, BYU, Boise State and Utah also in play.
It’s starting to feel like UW should simply trademark “Ioane” and slap it on their jerseys—because why settle for one Samoan‐sounding phenom when you can collect the whole trilogy? Coaches are reportedly drafting recruiting materials that look like collector’s cards, complete with “Will he be the third charm or just another charm School drop-in?” chatter. Meanwhile, local sushi restaurants are nervously awaiting whether they need to pronounce “I-oh-ah-nay” three different ways.
Bulldozer at the Door: McMahan’s Montlake Makeover
Redshirt freshman Julian McMahan, a 6-foot-1, 234-pound back, scored the only touchdown off a 15-play drive in UW’s spring game, plowing in from a yard out. He logged just three carries that night and finished spring practices with 51 yards and two touchdowns on 15 carries. With a crowded backfield—including senior transfer Ansu Sanoe of similar size—McMahan faces stiff competition to climb UW’s depth chart before fall camp.
Nothing says “competitive depth chart” like two near–identical bruisers sharing gym selfies while plotting who will bulldoze more linebackers come kickoff. McMahan’s spring audition apparently doubled as a weightlifting meet where every curl turned into an epic quest for roster salvation. Rumor has it he’s already petitioned for a halftime powerlifting demonstration and is negotiating with the video board for slow-motion replays of him grunting in the weight room.
Leave a Reply