Local Bama athletics guru Anthony Sisco insists there’s only one way to truly appreciate the Tide: by picturing every player, coach and waterboy as pint-sized superstition junkies—aka the Crimson Tikes. According to this visionary, no crimson helmet is complete without its monthly aerosol anointing and chant of “Roll Tide” in pig Latin.
Sisco’s “Toddler Theory” charts who tap-dances on championship trophies for luck, which offensive lineman refuses to snap the ball unless his lucky sock is inside out, and how many assistant coaches cross themselves while reciting Paul “Bear” Bryant quotes at halftime. His pièce de résistance? A 27-step ritual involving goat bells, conch-shell summons and synchronized finger-crossing led by the team’s resident mascot.
Critics call it absurd, but Sisco swears his method explains why the Tide never loses when the local ice-cream truck plays “Eye of the Tiger” en route to Bryant-Denny. After all, if Alabama football isn’t one big preschool of superstitions, what’s the point?
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