Progrums

In a ground-breaking twist that has stunned sports pundits everywhere, lead editor Thomas Hughes reportedly swapped his pen for a crystal ball to offer three earth-shattering visions ahead of Virginia Tech’s Week 4 tussle with Wofford. Sources say Hughes consulted tarot cards, a Magic 8-Ball and a suspiciously anxious squirrel to divine these must-see spoilers.…

Hokie Nation enters a brave new world this weekend as Virginia Tech takes the field against Wofford completely coach-less—because who needs a head coach when you’ve got Whiteboards of Destiny and a premium Spotify playlist called “We’re Fine, Honestly”? After giving Brent Pry the boot, team captains have assumed full responsibility for play-calling via interpretive…

In a bold strategy straight out of a fashion runway nobody asked for, Virginia Tech is trotting out a brand-new uniform combo this Saturday—because apparently losing 0-3 wasn’t embarrassing enough without some fresh threads. Coach Montgomery, fresh into his tenure and off to the kind of start you only see in horror movies, insists these…

Thomas Hughes has officially survived three weeks of Virginia Tech football—and more importantly, still has hair. After witnessing improbable fourth-quarter fumbles, referee signals that look like modern art, and a kicker who believes the uprights are “just suggestions,” Hughes is leaning into the chaos. Key takeaways include: pixelated instant replays are apparently optional, defensive line…

In a bold testament to its unwavering commitment to change, Virginia Tech has once again bid farewell to Brent Pry, proving that coach turnover is the Hokies’ true legacy. Fans wistfully recall the distant days of Frank Beamer—when victory parades weren’t scheduled based on calendar coincidences. Now, VT’s athletic department is eyeing five coordinators for…

Stu Holt swaggered into the media tent Wednesday, still wearing cleats like they’re the latest fashion statement, and delivered a stirring manifesto on special teams excellence. “We tackled the punt return… sometimes,” he announced, eyes gleaming with the ferocity of a man who just remembered his Gatorade. Holt went on to reveal his secret weapon:…

In a breathtaking display of strategic ambiguity, Virginia Tech’s interim head coach, Philip Montgomery, gathered the media after Wednesday’s practice to unveil his latest innovation: the press conference full-court press. Armed with a clipboard and an encyclopedic knowledge of non-answers, Montgomery expertly dodged every question about X’s and O’s, opting instead for inspirational anecdotes about…

Virginia Tech heads into Saturday’s showdown with all the swagger of a kid who’s never actually won at anything. The 0-3 Hokies, led by head coach Phillip Montgomery—whose last win feels like a mythological creature—are praying to the football gods for a mercy touchdown. Analytics outfit SP+ has crunched the numbers so hard they’re practically…

In a move that will surely thrill the 14 true Virginia Tech fans still paying attention, a College Football Insider has definitively ruled out Shane Beamer and Michael Vick as serious candidates for the Hokies’ head coaching vacancy. Sources say the insider would rather field suggestions from baristas at Starbucks or random fantasy football league…